When my friend Jack LoCicero asked me to comment about how I have coped with my brother, Douglas Gearald Basham's murder, April 1988, I was at first hesitant. As my thoughts have gone back and over the changes this has made in me and everyone in my family, actually there is much I could say. Early on, there were all the emotions, blaming myself, blaming God, thinking about the what if's. These things evolved for me into learning about ways to express my grief. One of the first life changing good things was becoming a part of Camp Carousel, a program sponsored by Winston Salem Hospice and started by Jack. Once involved I learned of creating a simple three ring binder about my brother's life, and I still to this day share that binder with others. I also learned about creating many other ways to remember and honor Doug's life. As time has gone on, I guess the most important coping skill I have gained is sharing my brother's story with others. I have had this opportunity, many, many times. And just as over time, the sad and negative thoughts do return, this ability to share has been very important in helping me to remember two things. The first is that we all have our own experiences, good and bad, and second that we are all here for each other. None of us know how or why things happen the way they do. And yet as we look back with perspective we can see how things fit together and make us who we are. I am very thankful for all the people, in my life who have contributed to me being who I am. My brother and his life and death being a very large part of that process.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Saturday, November 8, 2014
brokaw, the greatest generation and the candy bomber
Please Share the following Video. Everyone should see.
"THE CANDY BOMBER, From THE GREATEST GENERATION."
Watch to the very end.......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vR2wgq0ZMc#t=98
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Today Is Saturday April 27th 2013, And Optimism Flourishes
This afternoon I just read my daughter Mandy's most recent post on her blog "To My Future Knight".
http://tomyfutureknight.blogspot.com/
The last few weeks she has been on a roller coaster ride. And I've been in the last car holding on, and wishing there was anything I could do to help.
Since the first of the year I have also been on a roller coaster ride as well. Decisions to make about retirement, social security, health care benefits, taking my MetLife pension or delaying taking.
Being qualified for full social security benefits in January was a fairly easy choice to make. A no-brainer really. As it turned out that was a very good thing to choose to do. My income fell a few weeks ago to the lowest in 3 years. Without the 3 SS checks the last 3 months I would have struggled even more than I have financially.
Many of my family, friends and clients have also had a very tough time lately. I see it every day.
The reason I am motivated to make this post today to my blog is simply this:
For many years I have been a member of "The Optimist Club". http://www.optimist.org/e/member/about1.cfm
"The Optimist Creed" is what I try to live by and at times that is hard to do. http://www.optimist.org/e/creed.cfm
Today Mandy reminded me why we all should realize the impact we have on each other for good or for bad. I hope when this life ends for me, it can be said that some good has passed on to the many people that have crossed my path and very little of the bad. I can say that all the people who have had influence in my life have mainly been for the good things and not the bad. Don't get me wrong, there have been many trials and hard things to deal with. But with hope that I am not deceived even the things that seemed bad at the time, have resulted in other good things to come. Over time, and making an assumption I will be given the time, I hope to share some of these positive experiences.
Since I "PLAN" to live to 137 and am now 66 that should be a realistic, optimistic goal.
http://tomyfutureknight.blogspot.com/
The last few weeks she has been on a roller coaster ride. And I've been in the last car holding on, and wishing there was anything I could do to help.
Since the first of the year I have also been on a roller coaster ride as well. Decisions to make about retirement, social security, health care benefits, taking my MetLife pension or delaying taking.
Being qualified for full social security benefits in January was a fairly easy choice to make. A no-brainer really. As it turned out that was a very good thing to choose to do. My income fell a few weeks ago to the lowest in 3 years. Without the 3 SS checks the last 3 months I would have struggled even more than I have financially.
Many of my family, friends and clients have also had a very tough time lately. I see it every day.
The reason I am motivated to make this post today to my blog is simply this:
For many years I have been a member of "The Optimist Club". http://www.optimist.org/e/member/about1.cfm
"The Optimist Creed" is what I try to live by and at times that is hard to do. http://www.optimist.org/e/creed.cfm
Today Mandy reminded me why we all should realize the impact we have on each other for good or for bad. I hope when this life ends for me, it can be said that some good has passed on to the many people that have crossed my path and very little of the bad. I can say that all the people who have had influence in my life have mainly been for the good things and not the bad. Don't get me wrong, there have been many trials and hard things to deal with. But with hope that I am not deceived even the things that seemed bad at the time, have resulted in other good things to come. Over time, and making an assumption I will be given the time, I hope to share some of these positive experiences.
Since I "PLAN" to live to 137 and am now 66 that should be a realistic, optimistic goal.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
A New Optimistic Journey Begins
For many years now I have wanted to write. I've thought about writing about my experiences. And sometimes about writing about wonderful people who have been significant in my life. This morning before 6:00 am I turned on my laptop and Mandy had just added to her blog http://tomyfutureknight.blogspot.com/2012/11/how-far-youve-come-not-how-far-you-have.html.
So, here goes my first attempt at published writing on the internet.
To start this Optimistic Blog, a good place to start is this incredible young woman, mother, sister, friend, cousin, niece, grandaughter, (someday, grandmother), but in my blog most important daughter.
By the way, she is the only daughter I have. Although there are some who may call me their adopted father. And I cherish those adopted daughters as well. In my next Blog I'll introduce another special person in my life, an incredible young man, father, brother, friend, nephew, grandson, (someday, grandfather), but in that blog article most important son.
Mandy (Amanda), was born January 10th, 1979 and weighed in at a very healthy 8+ pounds.
She was beautiful. She is still beautiful. Both inside and out. For today I will just say that over the years she has made me very proud, has scared me near to death, has cost a lot (worth every cent), and has been an inspiring example of overcoming the challenges we all face in life. Along the way she has been friends with people from all walks of life, rich, poor, black, white, American, Non-American, even people with alternate life styles. She has used the Saviour's admonition to not judge a person, but to get to know them as individuals and not as a label. As I watch this new journey she has embarked upon since getting her Master's in Mass Communications, I am in awe of what she is learning about herself. This inspires me to embark on my next part of my journey in this beautiful world we all have been blessed to inherit.
Right now, I am in the process of making very important decisions that will affect the rest of my life.
Retirement. Having been blessed to enjoy ALL the work I have done in my life, the last 20 years have been the very best. I have not made tons of money. I have not become the best at my career by some measures of success. However, at the age of 59 I passed a most difficult exam, after several years of study and was among only approximately 55% of those who passed that year in 2006, and on my first try. What a journey this career has been. Difficult in many ways, and yet so satisfying in being able to help people with their finances and making an impact on whole families and their futures. The very best part is all my many new friends that I have acquired over these years.
Many are and were clients, many are and were co-workers. Some have died, and that has hurt.
Friends have always been important to me as well as the wonderful family I am part of. Over the years I have, as much as possible tried to keep in touch with many friends and family. As part of this new journey, starting sometime after my 66th birthday celebration on January 30th 2013, I am looking forward to making more time to keep in touch with ALL who have been so dear to me.
At the same time, as long as I am capable and doing a good job for our clients, my plans also include continuing as a Metlife Financial Services Representative through a retiree's contract.
So A New Optimistic Journey Begins ..............
So, here goes my first attempt at published writing on the internet.
To start this Optimistic Blog, a good place to start is this incredible young woman, mother, sister, friend, cousin, niece, grandaughter, (someday, grandmother), but in my blog most important daughter.
By the way, she is the only daughter I have. Although there are some who may call me their adopted father. And I cherish those adopted daughters as well. In my next Blog I'll introduce another special person in my life, an incredible young man, father, brother, friend, nephew, grandson, (someday, grandfather), but in that blog article most important son.
Mandy (Amanda), was born January 10th, 1979 and weighed in at a very healthy 8+ pounds.
She was beautiful. She is still beautiful. Both inside and out. For today I will just say that over the years she has made me very proud, has scared me near to death, has cost a lot (worth every cent), and has been an inspiring example of overcoming the challenges we all face in life. Along the way she has been friends with people from all walks of life, rich, poor, black, white, American, Non-American, even people with alternate life styles. She has used the Saviour's admonition to not judge a person, but to get to know them as individuals and not as a label. As I watch this new journey she has embarked upon since getting her Master's in Mass Communications, I am in awe of what she is learning about herself. This inspires me to embark on my next part of my journey in this beautiful world we all have been blessed to inherit.
Right now, I am in the process of making very important decisions that will affect the rest of my life.
Retirement. Having been blessed to enjoy ALL the work I have done in my life, the last 20 years have been the very best. I have not made tons of money. I have not become the best at my career by some measures of success. However, at the age of 59 I passed a most difficult exam, after several years of study and was among only approximately 55% of those who passed that year in 2006, and on my first try. What a journey this career has been. Difficult in many ways, and yet so satisfying in being able to help people with their finances and making an impact on whole families and their futures. The very best part is all my many new friends that I have acquired over these years.
Many are and were clients, many are and were co-workers. Some have died, and that has hurt.
Friends have always been important to me as well as the wonderful family I am part of. Over the years I have, as much as possible tried to keep in touch with many friends and family. As part of this new journey, starting sometime after my 66th birthday celebration on January 30th 2013, I am looking forward to making more time to keep in touch with ALL who have been so dear to me.
At the same time, as long as I am capable and doing a good job for our clients, my plans also include continuing as a Metlife Financial Services Representative through a retiree's contract.
So A New Optimistic Journey Begins ..............
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